Thoughts of the Lonely

Sometimes like on nights like tonight...when I feel so alone, I remember what it fees like to want to die.
I want to scream, break things, cry in someone's arms until i  am shakeing and exhausted -
Until I have run out of all the anger and self hatred the resides inside myself; an unwelcome guest who has checked in and since never left.
Yet, there is no one to run to except myself.
On nights like these where death or self harm seem so ideal, what are you supposed to do?
Go to bed and wake up the next morning, going about your day as if it never happened?
But, it DID happen - and it is only a matter of the sun going down upon the horizon for it happen again.
What a vicious vicious cycle, this twisted, never ending game is.
And all I want to know is who's on my side?

Inspried by Strike Lines

Hunger
in a dark sak
makes you think you're stronger than you are.

Relentless looks
early hours
no figure standing.

Listen
Notice
Quiver
and you will know.


March along,
flag of desire
flag of ambition
each lost in a room of private dream.


Little time is given here to rest.
Someday, people in their places
lifted up by the ribs,
never knew one day to the next.

Imagery

Time as a constant

Tangible answers

I keep those postcards of thoughts in my vest pocket

Memories not to be repeated

Stay only because I choose to keep them

Like an antique polished picture.

comfort

you've been laying in my bed
and as i'm crawling into it without you now
i've noticed quite a feeling of comfort.

the warmth of your body is lingering upon my sheets
and i slip into them alone now, yet somehow i am enveloped with it
the warmth, the happiness and the understanding

it's as if you are going to be next to me,
holding me while i fall asleep
and you're not even here.

such an indescribable comfort
even though i know you have left,
you left part of yourself here,
to be with me,
to help me through the night

thank you