Thoughts of the Lonely

Sometimes like on nights like tonight...when I feel so alone, I remember what it fees like to want to die.
I want to scream, break things, cry in someone's arms until i  am shakeing and exhausted -
Until I have run out of all the anger and self hatred the resides inside myself; an unwelcome guest who has checked in and since never left.
Yet, there is no one to run to except myself.
On nights like these where death or self harm seem so ideal, what are you supposed to do?
Go to bed and wake up the next morning, going about your day as if it never happened?
But, it DID happen - and it is only a matter of the sun going down upon the horizon for it happen again.
What a vicious vicious cycle, this twisted, never ending game is.
And all I want to know is who's on my side?